Observation

"Observe little children, observe them anywhere you can."

— Maria Montessori, The 1946 London Lectures, p. 57.

Observation with a soul means empathizing with what a child is going through as they learn skills we have long forgotten learning ourselves.

For parents, observation happens naturally throughout daily life. Remembering meaningful moments—or writing down what happened—can help us understand our child and bring thoughtful questions to conversations with a teacher or guide.

What to look for in everyday observation

1. The child's interaction with the environment

Notice how the child responds to the people, objects, sounds, and events around them.

• Interaction with others:What happens when a sibling watches quietly, asks to join, or becomes involved without asking? Notice the child's words, gestures, actions, and how the exchange unfolds.
• Awareness of others' needs:Notice moments when the child responds without prompting—for example, pausing a puzzle to help a younger brother who is having difficulty.
• Response to the surroundings:What draws the child's attention—a bird by the window, a cicak on the ceiling, a sound, or an object? Notice whether they look, listen, investigate, comment, or invite someone to share the discovery.

Pay attention to what happened before the child's response and what happens afterward.

2. The child's movement

Notice how the child uses their body during play and everyday activities.

• Spatial awareness:How they judge their position and distance from people and objects, move through spaces, and make room for others.
• Coordination:How their movements work together—for example, holding a container steady while placing something inside.
• Balance:How they maintain or regain steadiness while walking, bending, reaching, or climbing.
• Fine motor control:How they use their hands and fingers to grasp, release, turn, and position objects.
• Strength:How they grip, carry, push, pull, and support their body.

Notice their attempts and adjustments, including what they do when something does not work as expected.

3. The child's engagement with the activity

Notice how the child approaches an activity and how their involvement unfolds.

• Interest and choice:What attracts them? What do they choose or return to?
• Attention:What holds their attention? What happens when something interrupts them?
• Exploration and repetition:How do they use the materials, try different approaches, or repeat an action?
• Response to difficulty:Do they pause, adjust, try again, seek help, or move on?
• Ending the activity:How do they finish or leave it, and what happens beforehand?

Skills for thoughtful observation

1. 1. Patience:Allow time for the child's activity and responses to unfold. Remember that they are learning skills whose beginnings we may have forgotten. Give them room to attempt, adjust, and discover before stepping in.
2. 2. Attention to detail:Notice small actions, changes, repetitions, and the sequence of events.
3. 3. Active listening:Give attention to what a child communicates through words, sounds, pauses, facial expressions, gestures, and movement, while seeking to understand before responding.
4. 4. Awareness of the whole environment:Notice the people, materials, space, sounds, and events that may influence the child's experience.
5. 5. Separate descriptions from interpretations:Distinguish what you saw or heard from what you think it means. Describe the child's actions without judging, and remain open to other explanations.
6. 6. Self-awareness:Recognise how your expectations, emotions, presence, and interventions may influence both the child and your understanding of the moment.
7. 7. Remembering meaningful moments:Being present allows us to notice moments that move us—a discovery, an unexpected gesture of care, or a child's delight. Remember what happened and what witnessing it stirred in you, carrying that experience into your growing understanding of the child. A brief note can help preserve the moment or a question you want to discuss.

Why observation matters

1. 1. Understand the individual child:Notice their interests, ways of communicating, approaches to activities, and responses to the world around them.
2. 2. Identify what works and what does not in the environment:Recognise what supports participation and what creates difficulty. Thoughtful changes to the space, materials, sounds, or our own involvement can help.
3. 3. Assess the child's readiness:Notice what they already manage, what they are attempting, and where support may help. This guides when to introduce an activity, demonstrate, adapt, or allow more time.
4. 4. Design appropriate materials:Use what we observe to offer materials that match the child's interests and abilities, with a manageable challenge and room to grow. Age gives us a starting point; observation helps us tailor the materials to the particular child.
5. 5. Respond with greater understanding:Looking and listening before reacting helps us choose when to wait, when to offer help, and how much support to give.
6. 6. Bring meaningful observations and questions to conversations:Remembering or writing down specific moments helps parents discuss their child's experiences with a teacher or guide.
7. 7. Deepen our connection with the child:Being present makes room for discovery, delight, empathy, and moments that might otherwise pass unnoticed. These experiences become part of our growing understanding of who the child is.